Dreams

I never remember my dreams. It hasn’t always been like this. I dreamt like crazy as a kid. Not remembering probably happened about ten years ago. Anyway, I’m so used to not remembering my dreams that I hate when I do. Every dream feels like a nightmare.

Which I know is not true. I know what a nightmare is. But I don’t like any of my dreams. In the one I just had everyone started not liking me suddenly. And things in it were just weird. Dreams are strange. My work didn’t look like the office I’m used to. My apartment was different, I even lived with different people. And these people seemed to hate me.

Am I scared of not being liked? I didn’t think so. Am I scared of what people think of me? I don’t feel I am.

Both of these are probably false. Not “probably”, but “definitely”. I’m lying to myself. I know that deep down I really want people to like me and I am nervous of what people think. I wish these two things didn’t bother me. I have a feeling that my life would be a lot calmer if they didn’t bother me. But how do I get over this?

I wonder if me remembering my dreams is linked to my mood at all. I’m feeling pretty ok for the most part. I know I had a bad day yesterday, but that particular day comes around on a regular basis and I’m used to it. I don’t know. Maybe I’m starting to not be ok and my mind is noticing it. And then maybe my dreams have nothing to do with my mood. Most likely it doesn’t. But it’s always nice to think that there may be a warning sign that I can be aware of.

On a totally different and selfish note, anyone interested in helping me out please “follow” me on the little box on the top of the page towards the left. The more followers I have the higher my blog is on the list on Networked Blogs. The main point of me writing all this is to get it out there. To educate people on what mental disorders are about. The more my blog is out there, the easier it is to achieve this. Thank you.

I’m going to try to go back to sleep now.