Q&A

I'm procrastinating from doing my school work. But I don't have anything to actually talk about, so I stole some questions from a Vlog I watch. Hope you find them interesting I guess.

Is there something about having bipolar that you like and would miss if you didn’t have it?

I love the times when I have a ton of energy, I’m motivated, and I feel absolutely amazing. I wish it was like that all the time. I know it’s not worth it though. I would rather not have a mood disorder, even if I lost the “good” episodes.

Did you notice bipolar symptoms before you were diagnosed?

I actually mentioned bipolar as a possibility before my doctors did. I knew I had depression, and I knew I had it bad. But then I started noticing extreme bouts of other moods, sudden sparks of creative energy, and just some poor decisions. I ended up going through years of journals and seeing evidence of these things happening over a long period of time. I shared a lot of my journals with my doctors. It was shortly after this that I got an actual diagnosis.

How many therapists have you had?

I feel I can’t give a straight answer to this one. I feel I’ve only had one actual therapist (the one I have now). However after a couple overdoses when I was living in Ireland, I was sent to see a counselor. The first time I just stopped going after two sessions. The second time I stuck it out a little longer but they kept switching my counselor and I got sick of always having to start over.

What kind of bad decisions have you made?

Ah. Most of my bad decisions have been minor and haven’t really effected my life. The actual bad decisions I’ve made has to do with relationships. Either being in a relationship that I shouldn’t or spending too much time investing in something that was clearly not going anywhere.

Does it make you paranoid to be so open on the internet?

Yes. Although I haven’t regretted anything I’ve said yet, I’m always afraid that is going to happen. I worry about saying something that will hurt my family. And then I’m afraid of something being used against me. Paranoia can get to me pretty easily. I think that’s pretty common with bipolar disorder.

Where you resistant in taking medication?

Not really. I was put on psychiatric medication many different times for many different reasons; for major depression, for postpartum depression, for bipolar symptoms, for completely flipping out on my doctor once. All these times I felt like I needed something to help me. I’ve always been pretty pro-medication, if it’s something that helps someone.

What kind of career do you want and how do you plan to get there?

If things go according to plan I will get my masters in clinical psychology. I would like to be a clinician for young women and/or single mothers who have postpartum depression. I am also interested in working with young people with schizophrenia. Either way I want to work with teenagers and young adults.

Short and not much to it, but whatever. I guess I'll get back to school. Arg.