Breakdown?

Very slowly I feel I am heading to a breakdown. It’s becoming hard for me to think, and feel, and function. Playing with the girls, housework, homework, all seem impossible. I’ve felt this way before. I can push myself with the girls. I have help with housework. There is nothing I can do for school. I’m really doubting myself. I sent a message to my advisor telling him that I feel this is impossible, and I really don’t think I can finish school. This is the reply he sent me.

I know the feelings are real. And at the same time the feelings are just feelings. Respect yourself and honor those feelings, and at the same time rally other parts of yourself that want and need you to cross this milestone. You are capable. You are talented. You are worth it. I believe in you. I also know that those parts of you that feel this is impossible and unimportant are true -- and I also know that other parts of you know you are talented, capable, and worth it.

It was a nice message. But it’s hard to keep that in my mind. I have made a box to help with depression. I can try using that to help me. But this is different than depression. I’m necessarily depressed. I just feel like I’m losing myself. School is a big priority. I have an accommodation agreement with my school to help me during these episodes. I’m able to miss classes and it not being counted against me, and I’m allowed to make up all work and tests. The only thing is I only have a couple weeks left. Not much time to finish the amount of work I still have to do.

I just need to find a way to keep myself from falling more. It’s just hard to figure out how to do that.