Am I passive?

I had therapy today. I had a really relaxing day so I was in a good mood when I went in. The first question I was asked was "why?"... why was I in a good mood? Last week I had said "all I want to do is hide and sleep", and now this week I was saying I was in a good mood. I don't know what is different. Apparently that's bad, that I don't know. Knowing why I'm in a good mood is just as important as knowing why I'm in a bad mood.

He asked if it was possible that I just was looking at things so bad that it zapped me out of my funk. That could very much be true. He said that is what might work for me. Maybe when things get bad, I take an hour to myself and actually think of everything that could go wrong, and see if that helps put me in a better place. It's a long shot he said, but it may work.

He asked if I was doing my breathing. I jokingly said I breathe all the time. But in all seriousness, no, I was not practicing this. He shortly after asked if I followed up with looking into the group DBT program. No, I did not. He said I was getting an F in this session for not doing my homework. Here is my problem; when things are going good, I don't feel I need to work on these issues. He said that is exactly the time I should be working on it. Which makes sense. When I'm depressed I don't have the energy to do anything. He said I was being too passive.

Well doctor, I didn't like hearing that. Yes, it's probably true. But, I don't want to be thought of as "passive". So after therapy, while I was still in the parking lot, I called the DBT people and registered. I need to call again tomorrow to set up my initial appointment. So there. I'm trying, I'm working on it. It just might take me a while.