A friend of mine had a facebook status recently talking
about how there are people who don’t believe there is a reason to cry or panic
unless something has actually happened, and that something is only what society
has decided is worthy enough to cry or panic over. From what I see, this is incredibly
true. I responded to the status with a comment; that people focus too much on
WHY someone cries or panics, when really the focus should just be on the fact
that someone is crying or panicking. It should be enough that an individual is
feeling that way. People suffering should not feel they need to give society a
reason as to why they are suffering.
I do not have experience in what it feels like to actually
panic. I’ve dealt with anxiety (and recently found out my therapist actually
diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder, but I will go into that another time).
However my anxiety level is not close to a full on panic. So I’m not going to
talk about dealing with the panic part of this, simply because I don’t like
talking about things I feel I don’t know.
Depression though… got plenty of experience there. There are
a lot of people out there who ask why an individual is depressed, they don’t
have anything in their life that should make them depressed. They may not
always say it, but they are thinking it. And coming from someone who deals with
this on a regular basis, I can tell you that a lot of those who suffer don’t
have A reason to be depressed. They
are most likely depressed because of everything. Everything is too much to deal
with, that is largely what depression is about.
What I’m trying to get at is pretty much this: it does not
matter why someone is depressed. It does not matter if something has happened
to put this person into a bad place, it does not matter if this person feels
they are depressed because of absolutely everything. What matters is this
person is feeling that way. And that really should be enough.
As a "fixer" I find it really hard to remember that sometimes people are not going to give you a reason that you can easily respond to and "help" with. I want a "my problem is ___" so I can say, "the answer is ___ and I'll help you do that". Good points here. Sometimes the problem is everything and nothing. What do you find most helpful when you feel you are at your lowest? People who are accepting of where you're at and stay clear, or just listen and don't try to advise?
ReplyDeleteFor me it really depends on who that person is. There are people who I know is accepting but do not get involved, there are people who are there to listen but not to advise. And then there are people who advise because they may have gone/is going through something very similar to me. None of these matter more to me than the other. For me it really comes down to that person being comfortable with how they do or do not want to be involved. If someone cares but does not feel comfortable to actively do something, that is fine. If someone is there just to listen that is fine. And if someone wants to give personal advice, that is fine.
DeleteOne of my friends told me once to stop talking about being depressed as other people have it worse and manage. It hurt a lot to hear that.
ReplyDeleteA friend told me that when I was 15. Thinking about it still hurts.
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