So tired

Here’s a secret: I wish I could take a break from school. Like take a semester off. But I feel like I’m not allowed to. And I know it’s myself that is not allowing me to take a break. I just feel like I need to catch up. Catch up to others my age who are already done with school. It’s like I’m behind in life. I hate that I feel this way. But I don’t think I can change it.

I put on this attitude that I can handle everything I have going on in my life. But the truth is there are times that I feel I have too much. Times that I wish I could cut down on things. Right now I’m so tired. I slept some this afternoon, yet still the only thing I can think about is sleeping some more. I tell myself I just need to get the girls to bed and I can sleep too. But I can’t. I have a couple hours of school work to do.

I’m just tired. I know I’ve already said that but I feel like I can’t say it enough. I’m tired. I’m tired. Maybe I can skip school tonight so I can sleep. Except that is what I’ve been telling myself a lot this past week. I do have all day tomorrow to work on school work, but will I actually do it?

I’m the kind of tired where taking a shower seems like so much work. Doing the dishes seems like too much work. Reading a story to my kids seems like too much work. Thinking seems like too much work. I just want to sleep.