Do I care?

It is possible to care so much and so little at the same time. That’s where I am right now. I just don’t care. Yet, I care probably too much. I may not be making any sense. In my mind I am.

I slept most of the day. Got very little done. Part of me just doesn’t care. I’m tired, so I’m going to rest. And then part of me is crying because I have so many things I should be doing and I’m falling behind and I’m just failing. I feel it. I feel the failing.

I’m feeling very weak right now. Like a breeze could knock me over. My attention span is horrible. I’m not writing this quickly. I’m pretty much just staring into space. I know there are things I should be doing. I feel like I can’t. I can’t do anything right now other than sleep.

Yes, I am depressed. I know I am. Two days ago I was fine. Today I am not. Tomorrow? I don’t know. I’m trying to not let it get to me. I don’t know how that’s working out. Probably not well.

I’ve been sitting here for half an hour. I’m going to go work on something. Or go to sleep. But I need to do something other than just sitting here.