We are not getting a real Christmas tree this year. Growing up I always said I would never get an artificial tree; I wanted my family to go out and pick a tree, bring it home, have to look after it. It was one of the many traditions I had planned for my family, especially when I had my daughters. This year however is different. To focus on keeping myself well I am trying to eliminate any stress that I can. Right now getting a real Christmas tree is too stressful. Having to pick out a tree, having to bring it home, and having to look after it.
This may not seem stressful to most. Unfortunately the kind of person I am can get stressed and upset over small things. Like getting a real Christmas tree, trying to decide what I need to get at the grocery store (this happened yesterday, I stood in the kitchen for a longgggg time just staring), getting change for my daughter's school lunch, and trying to spell something I don't know how to spell.
So knowing what stresses me out is not hard, it’s knowing how to deal with that stress and not let it upset me so much that is difficult. I’d like to say I’ve been working on this, but thinking about it I don’t think I’ve ever really tried to deal with stress in the correct way. How I start doing that, I don’t really know. Avoiding stress is a good step, but I know I can’t do that with everything. I’m going to have to learn how to accept stress and take control of the situation.
I don’t know how long it is going to take to get to this place, of dealing with stress and getting through it without losing it. Is it something that I can do on my own? Will I need help? Will the ability to deal with it going to last? Thinking about how to deal with stress can be stressful itself. I know I need to start keeping my emotions in check, I need to be able to keep myself calm in situations without jumping to sadness or anger. It’s going to take time.
For now I have to deal with what I have in front of me at this moment. Right now I’m looking around my apartment and I’m shocked by the mess. However, instead of cleaning it I’m going to bed early to avoid the stress. Is it the right thing to do? Probably not. But it’s what I need to do for me.
This may not seem stressful to most. Unfortunately the kind of person I am can get stressed and upset over small things. Like getting a real Christmas tree, trying to decide what I need to get at the grocery store (this happened yesterday, I stood in the kitchen for a longgggg time just staring), getting change for my daughter's school lunch, and trying to spell something I don't know how to spell.
So knowing what stresses me out is not hard, it’s knowing how to deal with that stress and not let it upset me so much that is difficult. I’d like to say I’ve been working on this, but thinking about it I don’t think I’ve ever really tried to deal with stress in the correct way. How I start doing that, I don’t really know. Avoiding stress is a good step, but I know I can’t do that with everything. I’m going to have to learn how to accept stress and take control of the situation.
I don’t know how long it is going to take to get to this place, of dealing with stress and getting through it without losing it. Is it something that I can do on my own? Will I need help? Will the ability to deal with it going to last? Thinking about how to deal with stress can be stressful itself. I know I need to start keeping my emotions in check, I need to be able to keep myself calm in situations without jumping to sadness or anger. It’s going to take time.
For now I have to deal with what I have in front of me at this moment. Right now I’m looking around my apartment and I’m shocked by the mess. However, instead of cleaning it I’m going to bed early to avoid the stress. Is it the right thing to do? Probably not. But it’s what I need to do for me.
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