Monday, February 3, 2014

The smoke dream

I had a dream that I was hallucinating. I know that’s weird with it being a dream. I was seeing smoke that no one else could see. I was panicking but no one understood why. When no one understood that I was seeing this smoke I started hearing mice chattering about the fact that no one believed me. Hearing mice chattering is something that has happened in my dreams before. Only last time it continued after I woke up. I really don’t know where I’m going with this.

I try to pay very close attention to my thinking. Not just the thoughts themselves, but how I’m processing my thoughts. If things are getting complicated up there then I know I need to start seeking some help. When I woke up this morning my mind felt like spaghetti. It still does.

I never realize how much I need therapy until I go a long stretch without it. It’s been three weeks since my last session and that was after a four week break as well. I know I didn’t have a good experience at my last appointment, but yeah… I need to go back ASAP. Why? I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I have. It’s like my mind is starting to get full of confusing thoughts, I’m not sure what is valid and what isn’t. Therapy helps clear that; helps me think in the right way.


I really should be doing homework. So I’m going to go do that.

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